What is mutual accountability in marriage? And what does it look like?
Reciprocated accountability improves harmony, trust and transparency in marriage. Accountability in marriage is not about policing or parenting each other but rather promoting healthy oneness with your spouse.
Indeed, mutual accountability is critical to a healthy, harmonious union. Many happy couples may naturally employ these principles in their relationship without really realizing it.
Others deliberately make it a point of emphasis in the marriage. In any case, husbands and wives who are not mutually accountable to one another are generally putting their relationship at risk of harm.
Areas To Practice Accountability In Marriage
What does accountability means in a marriage?
A marriage that lacks accountability has the potential for great harm such as divorce or infidelity. Here are some key areas where you should learn to practice mutual accountability in your marriage:
1. Spiritual Health
Daily communication and dependence on God are inevitable in every marriage and every life that want to remain on the right track.
Most people are prone to laziness or distraction when it comes to taking care of their spiritual needs.
A loving partner, who has your permission to encourage you in your devotion to God, can help by asking open-ended questions: “What has God been teaching you lately?” and “What are you praying about these days?” if the answer to both is, “Nothing!” it’s definitely time to slow down and spend time with God.
A husband and wife praying together daily will have an accountability mechanism already in place.
2. Finances
Nothing creates the need for accountability in marriage more than the chequebook. Couples need to be transparent with their finances. Finances and bank accounts need to be shared and openly discussed regularly.
Money is one of the major sources of conflict in marriage. Financial distrust between couples is on the rise yearly, and it has the potential to damage a marriage.
Being accountable for your finances will require you both to understand and agree upon spending, budget, expenses, and debt. It would be wise for both of you to discuss the budget together each month so there are clear expectations.
Failing to have clear communication regarding your finances can lead to overspending and frustration.
3. Technology
Technology is another key area couples need to practice accountability in marriage.
Is your username, passwords, records, social media accounts, internet history, etc. easily accessible to your partner? If your answer is ‘NO’ then you need to rethink and focus on the positive side of this.
Most people will be uncomfortable with this but it’s really not a big deal. It is not as bad as you might think.
Without accountability in the area of technology, the door is wide open to allow vulnerabilities into your relationship.
It is important to create access for your partner in your digital world. Not only does this communicate trust with each other, but if anything should happen to your partner, you will have the ability to access their accounts and important information in their absence or death and vice-versa.
It is important to note some exceptions which apply to couples with occupations that require confidentiality from their partner in fields such as medical, legal, or counselling.
4. Schedules
Couples who are mutually accountable to one another openly communicate with respect to their schedules and activities.
They view their time as not belonging entirely to them, individually, but as a shared commodity of the family. Such spouses are considerate of one another’s time and needs.
Whenever possible and appropriate, they do not commit their time to outside interests and requests without consulting with one another.
They are accountable not only for planning their agendas, but also in regards to their whereabouts, activities, company, and so forth. They are completely transparent about all aspects of their daily lives and dealings.
5. Decisions
Being married means you are a united team and not two individuals living under the same roof. Decisions, especially important ones that affect both of you, need to be discussed together.
Your partner can bring a lot of valuable input to the table.
Mutual accountability in marriage shows the desire to consult and involve your wife in all things important to you and your relationship.
Try to help each other make good decisions by monitoring each other’s workload and schedules.
Helping each other make good decisions means saying yes to some things and no to others. And it can be easier to say ‘NO’ when you are being honest and realise that you are accountable to someone.
6. Relationships
It is important to guard your heart against deep emotional connections and inappropriate intimacy with someone of the opposite sex. Be open and accountable about the time you spend with friends and co-workers.
Practising accountability in marriage help put boundaries in place and avoid situations that can lead to temptation or give the appearance of wrongdoing.
Your partner must know about your relationships outside of marriage, and they need to be comfortable with them as well.
Couples need to use wisdom and maturity in handling some sensitive issues in their relationship.
How the issues of temptations and moral struggles are handled will chart the course for every married couple. When your spouse discusses issues of potential temptation with you, it is unwise to get your hackles up, fuming or start blaming them.
You must respond with kindness because such issues can be burdensome. But when discuss openly this troubling secret quickly lost its negative power.
Be sure to keep the relationship with your partner as your number priority.
7. History
Another area couples need to practice accountability in marriage is their personal history. Couples who are mutually accountable to one another openly share any and all information about their past.
There is no inquiry too private that cannot be trusted with each other. Of course, all of the major areas of personal history should be addressed before marriage, such as spiritual, health, sexual, financial, legal, family, and so forth.
But if and when situations arise that bring the past into light, mutually accountable couples do not try to keep secrets or hide information. Marriage is always the priority over the individual.
Honesty is always the best policy.
Wrap It Up!
In a nutshell, principles of mutual accountability in marriage require complete openness between husband and wife. Among other things, this means true transparency, authentic honesty, and genuine answerability.
When couples are mutually accountable, they allow for total access into one another’s lives. They view one another as equal partners to be trusted and relied upon.
The good of the marriage is seen as a clear priority over the good of the individual.
