How To Deal With A Narcissist Without Completely Losing Yourself
how to deal with a narcissist.
Do you have to cope with narcissists in your life? Sometimes it’s difficult to determine whether the person you’re seeing is merely a little self-absorbed and dealing with certain childhood trauma disorders, or whether they are a full-fledged narcissist.
Obviously, narcissistic relationships are not just found in romantic ones. Relationships with narcissistic personality disorder can appear in our families, workplaces, and even in our friendships.
It’s crucial to understand that true narcissists aren’t merely those who like to talk about themselves all the time or take a lot of selfies. Their problems are far more complex than that.
Remember that narcissism is a spectrum disorder, which means that it can range from milder forms, such as an exaggerated sense of importance, to more severe and pathological forms, such as malignant narcissism.
So how can you tell if someone is a narcissist and what can you do to stop them? Here are some tried-and-true strategies on how to deal with with a narcissist or narcissists of all stripes in your life, including friends, coworkers, lovers, and even your kids.
How Does Narcissism Appear?
According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is “a psychiatric disorder in which people have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, difficult relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” A person only needs to meet five of the nine criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in order to be clinically classified as a narcissist.
These are the nine criteria:
- an inflated feeling of importance
- obsession with illusions of limitless prosperity, influence, brilliance, attractiveness, or ideal love
- a conviction that they are exceptional and unique and should associate with other extraordinary or high-status individuals or institutions; or
- overwhelming yearning for adulation
- Lack of empathy
- interpersonal exploitation,
- arrogance,
- the perception that others are jealous of them
- representation of snobbish and arrogant attitudes or behaviours
What Should You Do If the Person You’re Dating Is a Narcissist?
According to Psychology Today, it doesn’t really matter if your parents or friends don’t approve if you’re in love with a narcissist who makes you feel fulfilled the majority of the time.
It is effective if it serves you. It’s time for a self-check-in, though, if you feel unsatisfied in your relationship yet still want to work through it. A smart place to start is by comprehending your place in the relationship and the attraction you have for this person.
Asking yourself questions such, as “Did you have a self-centred parent,” is advised by PsychAlive. Do you prefer it when your partner has the reins so you may adopt a more passive attitude?
Does being associated with someone in the spotlight make you feel more valuable? Do your own critical ideas about yourself mirror the bad image of yourself they promote through their comments and arrogant attitudes?
By getting to know yourself better, you may challenge the dynamics of the partnership from a more functional and self-aware position. According to Psychology Today, there are more crucial inquiries to make:
- Do the aspects of this relationship you enjoy make up for what’s missing? and
- Are you able to tolerate the things you dislike?
Moving the relationship forward can be facilitated by modifying expectations, praising good behaviour, and cultivating compassion for both oneself and one’s partner. Of course, getting professional counselling is another useful strategy.
How Do I Deal With A Narcissistic Family Member?
Having difficulty getting along with a family member who you believe to be a narcissist? No matter how much you’d desire to, Psychology Today advises against calling someone out for being a narcissist (it will only fuel the fire).
Avoid arguing with them as well because doing so will just enrage you and they’ll virtually never yield your position or provide the feedback you’re looking for.
The most important piece of advice is probably to be aware of your limitations and your options. You can choose to leave the conversation or establish time limits for how long you will interact with a certain family member if you don’t want to talk to them.
Speak your views regarding how they treated you. For instance, “I’m not having this conversation with you if you’re going to keep talking to me like that.”
More importantly, don’t be reluctant to ask for help or advice from a professional, especially if the person in question is a parent, sibling, or kid with whom you interact frequently.
Watch this video to know more about how to deal with a narcissist in a relationship;
How Should You Handle a Narcissistic Boss?
Even if you might want to give up every day, this isn’t a practical alternative. Instead, it’s crucial to concentrate on the aspects of your workplace that make you feel confident and secure, according to a Forbes article. Set your boundaries, take breaks, and encourage some uplifting self-talk.
You have the right to report any unlawful or abusive behaviour to HR. When in doubt, keep your eyes on your objectives. Why do you do what you do for a living? What can you do to advance your career in the best way possible? Your work experience can be more fulfilling than not if you concentrate on its positive aspects.