What Is A Situationship?
A Situationship is basically a relationship without any form of commitment. A situationship is a relationship that is not exactly a relationship because it lacks a proper definition of purpose.
In other words, a situationship is a definition-free relationship.
Situationship is becoming very popular in recent time and quite unfortunate, many single are in situationships and mistake it for a relationship.
Are You in A Situational Relationship?
Usually, people in a situational relationship do the things people in a romantic relationship do except that they are not committed to each other or discuss a future together.
If you are uncertain of what to say when someone questions you whether you’re meeting someone, and ‘it’s complicated’ just seems to be the only right answer, you may be in a situationship.
In this article, we will explore the characteristics of a situationship, so as to know if you are stuck in relationship limbo.
We will equally examine the pros and cons of situationship, and the steps you can take to make a headway in your relationship.
11 Signs You Are In a Situationship
It’s important to know the signs of a situationship so that you can recognize if you are in one sooner rather than later. Below are the signs of a situational relationship:
1. The relationship is undefined
Normally, couples in a relationship do have the DTR (define the relationship) or ‘What are we?’ conversation to define the relationship, outline expectations and set boundaries.
However, individuals in a situationship do not clearly define the purpose of the relationship and what individual expectations should be.
Are you seeing other people? Are you having romantic feelings towards me? Do you believe in monogamy? Do you want to be exclusive? These are some of the questions to ask your partner to define your relationship.
Most people put off this conversation for as long as possible. You are most likely in a situationship if you feel it’s too early to have the ‘What are we’ conversation or you are just uncomfortable bringing it up.
Once you are three to six months into the relationship and nobody is initiating these conversations, it’s a sign things are not moving forward.
2. Things Don’t Progress
A relationship goes through some phases which serve as indications of progress. There are certain relationship milestones that you should expect in three months, six months, a year and so on.
Such relationship milestone includes; going on dates, you having dinner together, meeting family and friends, saying your first ‘I love You’, sharing a holiday or sharing a Saturday night, becoming exclusive and so on.
When these do not occur then the relationship is not moving forward. These are signs you are in a situationship.
3. There’s No Consistency
A lack of consistency is one of the major signs you are in a situationship. You might be in a situationship if you are uncertain of what to expect from your partner.
Take, for instance, if you are not sure of when you’ll likely see them next, the time frame it will take them to return your call or reply to a text, or maybe they’ll ever try to reach out to you.
4. The Connection Is Superficial
You may be in a situationship if you notice that you both are only connected at a surface level. While you and your partner may pass time together, or may even engage in physical intimacy, it can be a situationship if you have not developed a deep emotional connection.
Observe your conversations, it will most likely be superficial and you may become aware that your partner never asks you personal questions. This shows that they are not taking the time to get to know you or share parts of themselves with you.
Without deep connection, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy things will stay at a surface level and the relationship cannot progress.
5. You Are Not Integrated Into Their Life
Normally, couples in a healthy relationship go to places together; it won’t be long before you know their favourite ice cream flavour, meet their colleagues or know their favourite restaurant. You are mentioned on their social media and are always eager to spend time with you.
When you can’t see these integrations taking place in the relationship, it means you’re not in the direction of a more meaningful relationship – a sign you are in a situationship.
6. There’s No Mention Of The Future
Normal couples plan for the future to a certain extent, whether it’s a short-term plan like going for a vacation in the nearest future or long-term plans like settling down and having a family.
However, no such future plan or discussion occurs in a situational relationship.
If your partner isn’t speaking to you about forthcoming events they want you to be a part of, it is a sign that they are not counting on you being around in the future.
7. The Relationship Is Based On Convenience
Most people get into a relationship because of their partner’s appearance, achievement or whatever. This is infatuation, not love.
This is knowns as a relationship of convenience – a relationship based on the feeling that your partner has what you need or can help you get what you need rather than starting it in love.
You and your partner may not give precedence to each other or inconvenient yourself to see each other; instead, you may tend to make spur of the moment plans based on convenience, if you have a gap in your schedule or if something else doesn’t work out, for instance.
You don’t start a relationship because you feel your partner has what you need. That is why you need to know the difference between love and infatuation.
8. The Relationship Is Not Exclusive
If you or your partner is seeing other people and neither of you considers it a big deal, then the relationship is not exclusive and thus it might be a situationship.
Being exclusive to one another shows that you are committed to the relationship and that you want the relationship to succeed.
9. There Isn’t Much Follow-Up
You and your partner may be in “relationship mode” in person, but when you’re apart you may switch back to “casual mode” via text or on the phone. You may notice that your partner doesn’t take a lot of initiative or follow up with you on conversations or plans.
10. You Can’t Attend A Special Event With Your Partner
Not being able to bring a person that you are romantically involved with to family dinners, weddings, holidays, and others where you would hope to have a date is a sign you’re in a situationship not a relationship.
11. You Don’t Go On Actual Dates
Going on a date gives you the opportunity to know each other more deeply. Going on actual dates is part of the courting process and it shows you and your partner are ready to invest in the relationship.
But, peradventure your partner chooses to do outdoor dining or goes out with their friend, but chooses to count you out for such events, you might be in a situationship.
