Can a relationship move forward when there are signs of selfishiness in relationships?
Being in a romantic relationship with someone you care about is a wonderful experience. You can depend on and take care of each other without feeling judged or used.
But sometimes it’s easy to show signs of selfishness in relationships without even realizing it.
Being selfish in a romantic relationship can really affect the dynamic between you and your partner. It can cause resentment and animosity.
While it’s important to not be co-dependent on your partner and have your own life and goals, you shouldn’t have the final say in every decision or never respect the needs of your partner.
So why exactly is it so easy to be selfish in relationships sometimes?
Mara Opperman a relationship etiquette expert says – “Selfishness is typically caused by hidden hurt and resentment tied to unresolved relationship issues.
Instead of getting help for these issues, they sometimes overcompensate for it. It does not mean they don’t care about their feelings. And oftentimes, they don’t realize their selfishness is causing issues in the relationship,”
What Are The Effects of The Signs of Selfishness In Relationships?
Selfishness in relationships can cause significant issues. Being selfish is all about ‘I’ and not ‘we,’ which is what a relationship is built upon.
Relationships should be about being together. It’s difficult to be together — both physically and emotionally —when you feel your partner has no regard for your feelings.
Selfish people don’t add to the relationship and help it to grow. Instead, they are all about adding to their own life. Overall dating a selfish person can lead to hurt, disappointment, and resentment.
Thankfully there’s a way to overcome this unfortunate problem: It’s important to remember that people define things differently.
The other person’s definition of ‘selfish’ may be very different from yours. Asking the other person to help you understand the impact of your words or actions, and being genuinely open to the feedback, is a great way to compromise and rebuild.
What Are The Signs of Selfishness In Relationships
It’s important to remember that to have a healthy, loving relationship, you and your partner should try to be thoughtful of each other’s feelings.
You should consider what they want when you want to make a decision and be empathic to their thoughts.
But if you feel like you and your partner have been in a lot of arguments lately, and you don’t understand why here are some signs you might be acting selfishly in your romantic relationship.
1. It’s Your Way Or The Highway
Can decision making be one of the signs of selfishiness in relationships?
Do you notice that every time your partner has a discussion with you, he or she ends up doing whatever you want to do, and give up on his or her own happiness?
If so, this isn’t healthy. This could lead to resentment, which could destroy the relationship.
2. You Don’t Listen To Your Partner’s Opinion
If my opinions don’t matter to my partner, is it one of the signs of selfishiness in relationships?
Communication is key when you’re in a romantic relationship with someone. And if you ignore your partner’s wishes and thoughts, then that might be a key sign that you’re selfish.
If your partner believes that your opinion is not worthwhile and theirs is more valuable, then this is a sign of selfishness in relationship.
3. You Don’t Take Accountability
Is being unaccountable one of the signs of selfishiness in relationships?
Selfish people in relationships never consider themselves in the wrong. They put blame on their partner and think they’re always right.
If you realized that your partner never apologizes, even when he or she is wrong, is a sign of selfishness in relationship.
4. You Expect Your Partner To Change
Is it selfish to force a change on my partner?
You might be acting selfishly in a relationship if you’re expecting your partner to change their personality and habits to match your wants and needs.
You will know he or she is selfish if your partner tries to change you and mould you into what they want you to be.
5. You Always Put Your Needs Before Your Partners
Is putting my needs first among the signs of selfishiness in relationships?
It’s important to consider your partner’s needs to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. Selfish people tend to do the opposite by putting their needs first.
Even more so, if your partner doesn’t give or share with you and always puts their needs above yours. This is a huge red flag on display here.
6. You Need To Be In Control All The Time
Can trying to be in control in my relationship consider a sign of selfishiness in a relationship?
Being selfish means things always have to be your way and you have to control every aspect of everything that happens in your life, especially your partner’s life, too.
If you do this, you don’t consider their goals or thoughts and only want what you think is best. Try and give up being in control all the time. You need to trust your partner to make decisions too.
7. You’re Rarely Happy For Your Partner
My partner thinks I am selfish in our relationship because I am not always happy for him?
If your partner’s happiness isn’t one of your top priorities, then your relationship might be doomed. You might feel jealous of your partner’s accomplishments or don’t want the best for them. These could be signs of selfishness in your relationship.
Consider how often you think about making your partner happy, or caring about what your partner wants or feels. There should be a balance and mutuality.
That means each of you cares both about yourselves and about each other. If you can see that going on, then you’re doing fine.
8. You Don’t Try As Much In Your Relationship
Is letting a relationship take natural causes a sign of selfishiness in relationships?
Most relationships end because couples just stop trying. Romance is put off because the needs of one person take over the other. Laziness can be a sign of selfishness in relationships.
If you only want to do things that make you happy, and don’t do things that make your partner happy, that’s a good sign you are being selfish.
9. You Take Your Partner For Granted
Can taking ones partner for granted be one of the signs of selfishiness in relationships?
You think your partner is never going to leave and nothing is going to change. But sooner or later, your partner could get tired of the relationship because you’ve taken them for granted for such a long time.
Taking your partner for granted and considering your issues to be more important than your partners, is a sign of selfishness in relationship.
10. You’re Always Taking, But Never Giving Back
What are the little known signs of selfishiness in relationships?
I believe that ladies are guiltier of this in this part of the world. Your partner could resent you if you only take things and never give anything in return.
To make a relationship flourish, it’s important to find a healthy balance where neither of you takes advantage of the other. Your relationship can feel unbalanced.
Giving and receiving are important for both people in the relationship. If you are always taking and not giving back, this is a sign of selfishness in relationships.
11. You’re Not Empathic To Your Partner
Can sings of selfishness in relationships includes lack of empathy?
To make a relationship last, you need to strive to be empathetic to your partner. Not showing empathy could mean you’re not willing to think about how they’re feeling when they’re dealing with a tough situation.
If you can’t empathize with your partner and instead, belittle or ignore your partner’s feelings, this is also a sign of selfishness in relationships.
12. You Act Impulsively
Are there more signs of selfishiness in relationships I need to know?
You might show signs of selfishness in relationships if you act impulsively. You think you know what’s best for you and your partner without talking to them first.
Some personality traits that could indicate that someone is selfish are if a person acts impulsively, is domineering, is self-obsessed or has low self-esteem which causes that person to disregard a partner’s needs out of anger, jealousy or sadness.
13. You’re Not Flexible
Is there signs of selfishiness in relationships I might have overlooked?
Relationships are usually all about compromise, but you can’t have a healthy relationship if you’re not flexible.
Have an open mind about what your partner wants so you can become less selfish and more flexible. You say ‘no’ a lot even when you know it gives your partner pleasure, but you’re just not that into it.
Watch this video to learn more about the signs of selfishiness in relationships:
Wrap It Up!
If you feel like you have a lot of these qualities, don’t panic. You can change your habits if you truly want to so your relationship can become healthier.
Take it slow, communicate with your partner and apologize if you feel like your behaviour has gotten out of control.
Your partner will probably appreciate your honesty and work with you to improve the relationship.
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