Most signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship might not be easily detectable especially at the beginning of the relationship when the love fire is burning very brightly.
The highest number of the signs of unhealthy jealousy behaviour can be justified by love and being caring; which is why the other person might not notice it earlier on in their relationship.
Are You Showing Signs of Unhealthy Jealousy In Relationship?
It isn’t you.
Yes I know it’s your partner. The truth is that most jealous people don’t admit they are.
So, let me talk to you directly now; since you are the one reading this now. Being honest with yourself is very important in making your relationship work. If you noticed any of the following traits in your behaviour, you might be the one to break your relationship.
However, on the contrary, if it is your partner that exhibits any of the signs of unhealthy jealousy in your relationship, I encourage you to send them the link to this post.
What Are The Signs of Unhealthy Jealousy In A Relationship?
As earlier stated, signs of unhealthy jealousy can manifest in the form of love and care which might justify the jealous partner’s act but it will definitely hurt the two partners and their relationship in the long run.
Here are the 10 most common signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship.
1. You Want Your Partner Alone
You’re not just excited to see your spouse, but you’re insistent. You ask him or her to blow off practice, ditch their friends, or back out of work, school, or family commitments because you’ve “never felt this way before” and “need to be near them.” You become pouty/whiny when they don’t comply, and you tend to show up wherever they are, uninvited. You hate being away from your spouse and contact him or her constantly when you’re not together.
While it may seem sweet to want to spend all of your time with them if you respect a person you will understand that they need time away from the relationship. And they deserve time to be alone and pursue other interests- without facing punishment for it.
You will never force your spouse to give up their hobbies, relationships, jobs, or activities so you can dominate their time if you care for them. Wanting your partner alone is a clear sign of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship.
2. You Suspect The Worst Of Them
One of the classic signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship is suspicion. This often manifests itself in a relationship when you suspect your partner and everyone around them of having the worst of intentions. You’re worried when your spouse is away and you are convinced everyone is flirting with him or her.
Sometimes it only takes someone else looking at your partner for you to get upset, and then you act as though they’re to be blamed. You accused your partner of being too friendly, dressing too provocatively, or giving people “the wrong idea.” No matter how much they reassure you of their faithfulness, you never believe them.
You look through their phone, You check up on them while they are out — ruining their evening — and You question your partner in a manner that is clear that it is not in the spirit of interest, but rather information gathering. It’s great to want to know about your spouse night because you care. Not so for the partner who needs to know every detail about their night because you don’t trust them.
People in healthy relationships don’t put their partner’s every move under the microscope. You don’t constantly doubt the other’s intentions or laden them with accusatory questions. Love doesn’t scour for evidence or assume wrongdoing–insecurity does.
If you or your significant other struggles with ongoing suspicion, there may be a deeper underlying issue, and the relationship won’t work until it’s dealt with. Love withers whenever suspicion outweighs trust. Suspicion is a classic sign of unhealthy jealousy in relationships.
3. You Are Too Emotionally Dependent
Another sign which could reveal extreme jealousy is emotional dependency. In this case, emotional dependency means that one of the partners wants to keep the other for themselves. Even if he or she is unhappy in the relationship, they feel that it’s too risky for them to be alone, and they are afraid of the unknown.
If this is happening, your partner can act all kinds of jealousy. This causes different behaviour: classic behaviour such as being jealous or having to constantly need reassurance; but also believing that your value depends on the presence and the look of your partner; a lack of self-confidence and being ready to accept the unacceptable.
Obviously, this is a situation that benefits no one and should be identified immediately. Emotional dependency is love but one of the signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship and one that needs to be quickly addressed.
4. You Disapprove Of Your Spouse’s Favourite Things
Obviously, isolation from others who may be a sexual threat is in the midst of the signs of unhealthy jealousy, but also the idea that certain people, places and things, in general, are something that they disapprove of” can be a sign too.
If your partner love opera and you decide to start mocking operas, well, that is a form of jealousy. It is highly threatening to you in some way if you do not have the hobby and they are learning more or being happy without you; and if you have the hobby, you may see them as competition.
Either way, it’s a bad scene. Not allowing your spouse to be true to themselves, and their growth is an inherently dysfunctional form of jealousy.
5. You Want To Control Your Partner
Straight up, you know you are unhealthily jealous when you try to control your partner’s life. Jealousy can cause people to behave in a scary and controlling manner. Whatever the behaviour may be, it’s not acceptable if it’s done out of jealousy.
If you keep checking your partner’s phone, accusing him or her of cheating or flirting, or you are demanding to know their whereabouts, it is time to have a serious conversation about what is really going on. Being controlling is an apparent sign of unhealthy jealousy behaviour.
6. You Want Your Spouse To Act A Certain Way
Sometimes, there is a very tiny boundary line between the signs of love and the signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship. You cross the line into unhealthy jealousy when you start making demands regarding your partner’s behaviour.
Are you expecting your partner to do or not do certain things according to your desires? If so, this cannot go on.
Do you feel justified in controlling their actions? Is your partner afraid to confront you about these demands for fear of conflict or physical response? A yes to any of these questions means you’re in the unhealthy territory.
When your partner doesn’t feel respected in the relationship for the choices he or she make and actions they take, it’s time to move on and take back their life and autonomy. For real!
7. Your Partner Is Required to Check-In
Does your partner have to give detailed accounts of his or her whereabouts? Or do you constantly question your partner’s whereabouts? It’s a sign of jealousy in an unhealthy way. When you demand that your partner always explain where they have been — even if it’s work — this can be a sign of unhealthy jealousy.
You like to know what they’re doing and who they’re with. When they’re away, you call, text, or contact them through social media the entire time, expecting immediate responses. You ask your partner to turn on tracking apps, so you can see where they are. Your spouse keeps his or her phone close at hand because they know if they don’t reply fast enough, you’ll become suspicious or get upset.
When we care about someone, it’s normal to ask for a text or phone call in situations where we want to know they’re safe. For example, we may ask them to text us when they make it home- that’s normal. A partner expecting you to keep him/her abreast of your every move anytime you’re apart is not.
A healthy relationship doesn’t require “check-in’s.” You shouldn’t require your partner to stay in constant contact when they’re away, and you should never insist on tracking your partner with an app or any other means. Knowing they’re safe should be enough, and if it’s not, their boundaries are not being respected. Your partner is his or her own person, and they’re allowed to live their own life.
8. There Are Rules About Who Your Partner Can Talk To
Trying to isolate your partner is one of the common signs of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship.
Your partner knows there are certain people they’re not allowed to interact with unless they want to fight with you; the list might include exes, people they used to have a crush on, that flirty co-worker, etc. The reasons they’re not allowed to talk to each person varies: “I trust you, I just don’t trust them,” “It makes me uncomfortable when you talk to that ex,” “I just think I should be enough for you,” “I’ve seen the way he/she looks at you.” The list goes on, and they go along with it even though they don’t agree because it’s not worth the fight.
Demands about who they can talk to can lead to an abuse tactic called isolation. What begins with not being able to talk to a certain person become rules about staying away from pretty much anyone you feel is in competition for your partner’s affection, time, or attention. Eventually, everyone becomes off-limits until they’re isolated to only you, paving the way for depression and possibly an environment for physical abuse.
It’s never okay to regulate who your partner can and can’t talk to. Part of loving someone means trusting them to make good decisions about the company they keep. You can vocalize your concerns in a loving, honest way, but then you must trust your partner’s judgment. If one of you can’t trust the other, it may be time to move on.
9. You’re Always Around
One sure sign that you have gone over-the-top with the whole jealousy thing is that you start sticking to your spouse like glue, even refusing to do things that you really want to do, just to keep an eye on him or her.
Don’t ignore this really big red jealousy flag: Suddenly you stop doing things that you really used to love to do, because the anxiety level about leaving your partner unattended is astronomical. Though it may feel good to be overly interested in your significant other’s life at first, be careful if this interest heads over to dangerous territory.
10. You Notice Stress Signs
Tension in one’s body is an unmistakable sign of stress when seen in certain situations. Does your face tighten or clench your teeth or fists up whenever your partner speaks to someone else when you are not close by? Do you stare at your partner while supposedly having a discussion with someone else? These are signs of unhealthy jealousy. It’s not always a done deal, but these combined with other things really can cause serious issues.
Wrap It Up!
Now, these indications or signs of unhealthy jealousy discussed above by themselves are not a 100 per cent indicator, but if combined with several other more obvious signals that this person is overly jealous, such as listening in on phone conversations or demanding to know your whereabouts all of the time, then this damaging jealousy could turn into something more sinister and dangerous.
Indeed. If you’re experiencing this, get help. Perhaps you need to rethink your relationship with that person, or at the very least let a close friend in on the situation. And do it without delay!
Over To You
So, what are the other advice, tips, strategies, techniques or methods that have worked for you? Please share with us in the comment below. Believe me; I sincerely value your opinion more than mine. And don’t forget there is love in sharing!
