The first date is such a big deal to most singles. It can be nerve-racking because while you are anxious about making it a complete success chances are you’re anxious about messing it up.
What can go wrong on a first date?
There’s a massive amount of pressure that comes with a first date. As you are trying to put your best foot forward you can sometimes unknowingly act in ways that portray you in a negative light.
What are the biggest mistakes people make on a first date?
Sometimes, mistakes we make on a first date can end up being total deal-breakers, even if they’re not truly indicative of who we are.
Here are 21 first date mistakes and behaviours that are complete deal-breakers on the first date.
1. Mentioning The Ex
Bringing up ex on the first date is a very serious deal-breaker. It can turn a supposed cool evening into an unromantic one.
Bring up the ex on the first date It’s never a good idea to It’s even worse if either of you brings up an ex more than one.
Talking about the ex so soon is a strong indication that a person is still not over with what happened.
2. Talking About Past Relationships
Nothing dampens a first date like talking about past relationships. The reason for going on a date with someone is to start something new and not to tête-à-tête about a past relationship.
If you aren’t finished grieving about a recent breakup, don’t go on a date until you feel that you’re ready to move on. Let the past stay in the past if you want your date to feel special and important so
3. Being Rude To The Staff
This is another first date behaviour that is a deal breaker and one of the subtle signs of an arrogant person as well.
It is expected of you or your date to act nice on your first date to impress each other but if either of you feels no obligation to be nice to the staff it’s a deal-breaker.
Being rude to the staff exposes what kind of character you have, and it isn’t a very nice one. Therefore, how nice you are is evidence of your character.
4. Having Bad Table Manners
Bad table manners were a turn off 50 years ago, and they still are today. The worst thing someone can do on the first date is “chewing with their mouth open.”
This might not bother every single person out there, but most people regard this as a first date deal-breaker.
5. Being Late And Not Apologizing
This is a nobrainer, tardiness is a huge first date deal-breaker. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not cool to be late.
Showing up half an hour late on the first date or informing your date that you would be late when he/she is already at the venue isn’t cool. Being late sends a message that you don’t value their time and starts things off on a bad note. You owe them respect for showing interest because they took the time out of their day to meet with you just as you did for them.
If you’re running late, give your date a heads up and apologize when you arrive.
6. Drinking Too Much.
One of the biggest first date mistakes to avoid is becoming too sloppy during that date.
It doesn’t hurt to grab a drink or two on the first date, but be sure it is no more than what you can take. Remember, you can only make a good impression when you are staying present and not becoming too messy during the date.
7. Not Asking Questions
Not asking questions is one of the dumbest first date mistakes a lot of people made. Asking your date questions is a good opportunity to see if there’s chemistry. In as much as it’s important to ask your date question, it is equally vital to know the right questions to ask on the first date.
8. Asking Too Much Question
Yes, in as much as you are expected to ask questions on the first date, try not to overdo it. The first date is not the best time to find out all the nitty-gritty of your date life. Asking too many (unnecessary) questions on the first date is a sign of clinginess.
Avoid asking your date about past relationships and deep thought-provoking questions on the first date. Just keep simple for a smooth together.
9. Only Wanting To Talk About Yourself
It can be tempting to keep talking about yourself on the first date. And, it’s a huge first date deal-breaker.
It can be difficult to resist talking about yourself on a first date. There’s the pressure to impress the other person, and sometimes there can be moments of awkward silences to fill too. Yet, it’s important to try and keep the conversation at 50/50 in terms of talking and asking your date about themselves.
Only talking about yourself without asking questions about the other person isn’t a smooth move. No one wants to hear someone ramble about themselves for the entirety of the date, especially when it’s your first time meeting them.
10. Being A Drama King Or Queen
Being too dramatic on the first date can leave a bad taste in the mouth. It’s a huge turn-off when a date makes a really big deal about something really small.
Being a drama queen or king shows your date that the two of you have inherently different priorities.
11. Talking Badly About Other People
Talking badly about other people is one of the first date mistakes that are deal breakers. Whether they deserve it or not, it will always end up making you look like the bad guy.
A little is fine if you’re telling a story, but too much and your date will assume you’re a drama llama.
12. Having A Victim’s Mentality
Showing a victim mentality is one of the first date mistakes that are deal breakers. A first date might not be the best place to vent about all your problems, or to complain about your life.
it’s a total deal-breaker when a date has a victim’s mentality: Blaming others in general or displaying the world is out to get me mentality is such a big first date deal breaker.
13. Bringing A Buddy On The Date
If you’re feeling nervous, you’re probably tempted to bring along your bestie to your date and have them sit inconspicuously behind you to support you from the next table.
But if your date catches on that the person who keeps looking over is actually your best friend, it’s a deal-breaker.
14. Being Mean To Animals
This is a given. A lot of people feel like watching their date mistreating an animal would be the biggest deal-breaker of all time. For some people, love interests get bonus points if they’re animal people.
15. Lacking Chemistry
Chemistry is something you don’t really have any control over, but many people feel that if there’s no chemistry between them and date the first time they meet, there’s no point in meeting up again.
If the conversation dies down after every attempt because neither is really interested in the same stuff whatsoever, it’s not going to work.
16. Being Too Arrogant
There’s a subtle line between arrogance and confidence, but if you cross it, you could end up turning off potential love interest. Generally speaking, bragging should be kept to an absolute minimum on the first date.
For many people in the world, modesty is far more attractive.
17. Wearing The Wrong Shoes
Wearing the wrong kind of shoe is a first date mistake you need to avoid at all costs.
You possibly have heard the saying – ‘This is bad… but like… their shoes.’
Unfortunately, we live in a society where we do get judged on what we wear to a first date. Showing up with running shoes (and I’m not talking athleisure style) is a big turn off. Similarly, it is unacceptable to roll up with “slip-on dad loafers” and “puffy skate shoes”.
18. Looking Different From His Profile Picture
It only makes sense that your date is going to be confused, and probably turned off, if you end up looking different in person from the profile picture you posted of yourself online.
Misrepresentation on the first date is a big-time deal breaker. Don’t show up being about 10 years older or look 100 pounds heavier than your date expected.
19. Assuming He Will Pay The Bill
There is an ongoing argument regarding whether or not the responsibility falls on the guy to pay the bill and frankly, I don’t think the argument is going to end anytime soon.
To some schools of thought, a girl not even offering to split the bill is a deal-breaker. Even if the guy ends up paying, the fact that the girl expects him to makes her seem a teensy bit entitled.
20. Not Having Enough Energy And Enthusiasm
Want to avoid first date mistakes that are deal breakers? Try to acquire enough energy and enthusiasm before you get there.
Some people fall into the trick of trying too hard to play it cool when they go on a date. But, it’s much more promising if the date is actually excited to be there.
If he or she says something like ‘Don’t mind me, I’m just tired.’ Yup, you know he/she is disappointed. You might as well just cut your losses at this point.
21. Being On Your Phone Too Much
Spending too much time on your phone is one of the first date mistakes that are deal-breakers.
A very common pet peeve for people is being on a date with someone who keeps looking at their phone. A lot of people are glued to their phones during every waking moment. If that’s you, it might be an idea to put all the devices away and give your full attention to your date.
It’s only manners, be respectful of the other person’s time. If you are waiting on an important call or e-mail, be sure to give your date a heads up. If you’re serious about getting to know someone, they should get your full attention.
What To Do If You Made Any Of The First Date Mistakes
As much as you try to come off as cool, impress our date, and work out how you feel about them at the same time, things happen that give your date a negative impression of you. And the bad news is not everyone gives out second chances.
There are some things you need to know – firstly, mistakes are not truly indicative of who you are, so don’t dwell on them. Secondly, not every date will be a complete success, so be ready to go on another.
Always tried to learn from unsuccessful dates so that you could be better for the next one.
Wrap It Up!
No matter what you’re looking for in a partner, whether it’s a serious relationship or casual fling, first dates don’t always have to be awkward. Ultimately, it comes down to the impressions we leave on the other person. Avoiding these common first date mistakes will help you have a successful first meeting and might even score you date number two.
