8 Smart Ways To Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Most couples are frightened of affairs in their marriage – even couples who have never experienced one. The revelation of an affair often makes couples feel like they are on an emotional roller-coaster and healing takes a long time.

Couples who experience an affair in their marriage often feel as if their very foundation was destroyed. The disclosure of an affair is a traumatic event and healing takes a long time.

How To Affair Proof Your Marriage

Can you really affair-proof your marriage? Yes, and I want to share some tips for how you and your partner can do that together.

I have seen many couples in my practice and, while most of these couples do have difficulties, many find ways to work through their problems while also remaining faithful. Here are some of the ways that they make it happen.

1. Have The Right Attitude

Starting with the attitude of being certain that you will not stray is one of the most basic ways to affair-proof your marriage.

Initiate the belief that you will ward off any relationship with the opposite sex outside of your marriage that could lead to an affair, either an emotional one or a sexual affair.

To affair proof your marriage, you need to know it’s human nature to be attractive to or be attracted to other people.

With the intention to affair-proof your marriage, come to terms with this idea but also take care that the door is not open to exploring or taking it any further than noticing it – because you KNOW that you will not follow up on any unsuitable relationship outside of your marriage.

2. Establish Clear Boundaries. Avoid Temptation.

Make certain you limit your contact with people of the opposite sex if you want to affair-proof your marriage. Also, you should be careful if you are attracted to those of the same sex.

Naturally, we can become pretty attracted to quite a lot of different individuals. The world is filled with a lot of nice, interesting and attractive people.

Peradventure you are in contact with someone who might fit that description, keep well away unless your spouse is around. Oftentimes, such a person will likely be a co-worker or someone that you see on your own. You should limit your contact to work or professional conversations to affair proof your marriage.

Also, avoid sharing personal stories or information with a person of the opposite sex to avoid unwarranted affair-related issues getting into your marriage.

It is super easy for a simple friendship to develop into something much more important. So to affair-proof your marriage be very careful about other relationships you nurture outside of your marriage.

3. Stay Committed To Your Partner And Relationship

Your ability to stay committed to your marriage and partner will go a long way in helping to affair-proof your marriage. Being committed to your marriage means doing what it takes to make the relationship successful.

There’s a big difference between liking being married and doing the tough work to preserve a relationship. A deeper level of commitment is a much better predictor of lower rates of extramarital affairs and fewer problems in marriage.

Read Also: 16 Tips on How to Stay Committed in a Relationship

4. Communicate Your Need Openly.

Resentment builds up in marriage when one or both partners hold on to things that bother them. This should be well addressed to affair proof your marriage.

Unmet needs cause unhappiness in marriages which provides the avenue for unfaithfulness and infidelity. Because one partner might seek ways to get his or her needs met outside the marriage.

To affair proof your marriage, openly communicate whatever your needs are or things that bother you with your partners. Not doing this provides grounds for noticing others, especially those who might be available to meet your needs or interested in listening to your complaints.

Be open with your partner and approach him or her in calm, composed, direct and loving ways. Avoid common communication mistakes in marriage by presenting your concerns in ways that take discussion and problem-solving into consideration.

5. Talk Openly About Attractions To And From Others.

One effective way to affair-proof your marriage is to constantly talk openly about attractions to and from other people. You’ll find lots of nice, fascinating and attention-grabbing people in this world. Some of those people might be ones that you see frequently at work, in groups or in the neighbourhood.

Talk over your notice of these others with your spouse if you want to be proactive about affair-proofing your marriage. Don’t keep it a secret – remember the saying; ‘no secret, no trouble’. Talk together about how you might deal with that interest effectively.

You should also avoid condemning, blaming or attacking your partner if they choose to talk to you about their attraction to or from others especially a person of the opposite sex.

6. Talk Openly About Sex.

It will be almost impossible to affair-proof your marriage if you don’t have an active sex life or work on constantly improving your marital sex life.

Despite the fact that there are many types of affairs and some affairs are rarely just about sex. Every so often, they may be about meeting a need or a desire to have an active sex life – or sometimes just to be touched and held. If you are unhappy with your intimate life, talk with your partner (and not with someone else) about it.

Read Also: 9 Sexual Problems That Can Harm Your Marriage & Tips To Overcome Them

7. Be Positive And Focus On The Good.

One of the best marriage and relationship advice you can ever get is to be positive and focus on the good about your partner and your relationship – and this is an ideal way to affair-proof your marriage.

Every human is imperfect and consequently, we can all find something to be disappointed about with our partner and our relationship. However, concentrating on the negative; only erodes feelings of goodwill in your relationship. It is somewhat easier to cheat on someone you are upset with than it is on someone that you really like and respect.

If you find yourself focusing about on the negative or thinking about the undesirable side of your partner and relationship, it is time to change your thought. Decide if you need to talk about the issues with your partner or just let it go.

Meditate continually about good things about your spouse and find ways to appreciate the good things in your relationship.

8. Try New And Different Things.

One way to affair-proof your marriage and keep a relationship interesting is to experience new things together. One research study noted that new experiences raise the level of serotonin in the brain in the same way that an affair does (although not necessarily to the same level).

Keep your relationship diverse and interesting. There are many creative things to do with your partner. Visit a new restaurant, and movies and try new activities that are different and even a stretch for you and your partner.

9. Practice Mutual Accountability.

Reciprocated accountability improves harmony, trust and transparency in marriage – which are tools needed to affair-proof your marriage.

Accountability in marriage is not about policing or parenting each other but rather promoting healthy oneness with your spouse. A marriage that lacks accountability has the potential for great harm such as unfaithfulness, infidelity or disloyalty.

Read Also: 7 Key Areas You Should Practice Mutual Accountability In Marriage.

10 . Don’t Give Up.

Recognize that marriage takes work and you have to be intentional about it to affair-proof your marriage.

Some changes take time –  changing feelings usually takes longer than changing actions and thoughts.

Hang in there, be patient, positive and calm – and look for ways to improve your relationship. Do not expect perfection. Accept the imperfection and focus on the good in the relationship.

Watch this video to learn more about how to affair-proof your marriage:

Wrap It Up!

Making the effort to affair-proof your marriage is well worth the time and energy invested. It calls for time and attention to affair-proof your marriage nonetheless the efforts are well worth it with the security that comes from knowing you are in a committed relationship.

It is our hope that you find this article helpful in your effort to affair-proof your marriage.

Over To You!

What have you learned about making marriages work? What do you know that you want to do even more to make sure that an affair never happens in your marriage … or never happens again?

Please do share with us in the comment section below, we greatly value your contribution.

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